I've been struggling with my outward appearance for a while now. Others could tell me I was pretty, and I didn't believe them. Not really, anyway. But I'd take the compliment and move on. I tried to work best with what was hanging in my closet and folded in my dresser. I tried to pay more attention to colours and textures and patterns. It's been fun, and has helped me feel confident in what I'm wearing and how I'm presenting myself. I think that's what I wanted: Confidence.
Over the past four days I have been wearing lipstick and it has given me just that: Confidence. The first time I wore lipstick was four days ago, for Prom. The lipstick is a light shade. I feel like it's not really noticeable- it's something I just do for me. To feel and believe that I am beautiful. It gives me confidence. For Prom, I also got my nails done, which helped me discover that I like having my nails done! I like nail polish and I like wearing lipstick! These things help me to feel beautiful. I like feeling beautiful.
Now, I'm enjoying these things. I like to imagine what might help me feel beautiful in university: lipstick or some other small thing I haven't discovered yet. These harmless, small things have been so nice to experience and experiment with.