found this today

I found this video today. in love ❤

Olivia

     She was reading The Fault In Our Stars and she told me what happened to Augustus in the end and I didn't mind. She had asked beforehand. She wrote the quote on my paper, "pain demands to be felt" and she sketched while I read when we would lean against the brick wall. I'll always think of her when I think of that book. She didn't always sit against that wall but I often did. I remember her reading Five Nights At Freddy's  and she wanted me to read it after her. It became a joke between us because (I think) we both knew I would never read it- it was a horror novel and I wasn't keen on anything related to horror, books or movies. It didn't matter that I didn't read it because she would tell me about the chapter she had finished when I asked her to. She did it daily. 
    When we went to the RecRoom in Square One (for a field trip before graduation) and, even though it wasn't my "thing" at first, I played a Jurassic Park arcade game with her. We had to shoot all the dinos. It was the highlight of my day. 

    I miss her company and her voice. I always thought that she and I would stay connected once high school started but it didn't work out that way. I don't know whether to use was or is for this sentence because saying she was my friend seems rather final and that she is in the past, but saying she is my friend sounds like lying because we don't talk anymore.
So I'll only say this: Her name was Olivia. I miss her. 

Platonic love

 The most beautiful thing in the world is when you love someone in the most platonic way possible. It's like you have this huge, whole, yellow emotion swimming inside you that fills your body. But you're not drowning, you're just really really glad to see your friend sitting in that chair and you haven't seen her in two months. You laugh at everything, because you're just in that kind of mood. I really love when I experience that. I platonically love that friend. Like I WOULD TAKE A BULLET IN MY LEG FOR YOU I LOVE YOU SO MUCH type of mood. I just really think it's the best feeling in the world; to feel that much love for someone all at once. You feel so full. 

Writer's guild UNITE

 In my writer's guild club:

-this one man was discussing cannibalism and saying it's technically legal. I can't even-
- the same man is a part of the philosophy club
- "you don't exist, I don't exist, this world doesn't exist, you're welcome."
- this man is debating that we don't have free will
- this man has a narrow face and bags under his eyes and is wearing a blue hoodie, grey pants, white sneakers
- "out crazy your opponent- that's how you win"
- "I had a journal as a child, but didn't keep up with it"
- this man could talk for six hours and I'd listen
- this man might wear an elf costume on the last day of school
- he's sitting in a spinney blue chair
- this man took world history, philosophy
- "thank you, I'm Canadian, we fight with mosses and maple syrup."
- "we were learning about the french revolution and jumped to black slavery."
- now the meeting is commencing
-  this man threw in a starwars reference mid-conversation
- we (as a writing club) want to defeat oakville trafalgar apparently
- we have to write a personal memoir. challenge accepted.
- man I missed this club. love it here.
- I joined the discord server. 

Time machines

 I wonder if anyone had a time machine, would they use it to go into the future? Nearly everyone seems to go back to the past. Not that I can blame them. I would too. But the future... If you go to the future, that changes everything and would probably change the present. If you went to the future then you'd know what would happen and the magic of not knowing would disappear when the machine launches you into the unknown. I'd still want a time machine, even if it was broken. Just to leave it next to the laundry machine like a rusted yellow volkswagen beetle that could turn into a transformer at the push of a button.