Power boots

The other day I was wondering whether to wear my sneakers again and I didn't want to wear my full-on winter- in- Canada- boots so I found these other boots. They have white fur on the inside for warmth and are on the small side so I wouldn't have to carry around another pair of shoes all day (I normally carry a change of shoes in the winter because my boots are huge). And I had this thought: Maybe I shouldn't wear these shoes. Maybe I shouldn't wear these new shoes because they're different and people will notice the difference. And I did not want that to happen. My anxiety showed up at the thought of this happening. I know that this thought process was not healthy and that it was probably from the devil (because that's where all bad thoughts come from) and you wanna know something? I decided: Who cares? I can wear whatever I want. This makes me feel good about myself. I deserve to feel good. 

So I wore the boots. 👢👢

Late night driving

    Nothing mattered. Not the school day tomorrow, not the next day, or the day after that. What mattered was that I was driving my grandfather's twenty-two-year-old corolla for the first time in my life, pressing my foot up against the gas pedal. The brakes were shot, pretty much non-existent. My brother was in the passenger seat, making remarks and comments and smiling. My sister and dad were in the back, filming the whole thing. I've never felt happier.   

    As I got out of the car, I thought of a quote from a book I read during the summer: "This one moment when you know you're not a sad story. You are alive, and you stand up and see the lights on the buildings and everything that makes you wonder. And you're listening to that song and that drive with the people you love most in this world. And at this moment I swear, we are infinite."

PS: I don't have my license yet and haven't turned sixteen yet! #illegal ;)

Flinch; a character

 "All I know is what I wonder: Which of my feelings are real? Which of the mes is me? There was only one and he was good and awake as long as he could be."

- The real you loved Violet Markey. That's all that mattered; you were happiest when you were with her. She loved you because you were Theodore Finch; in all your forms. All your versions loved Violet Markey with all your soul. You were alive and whole with her. That's who you are.

Downtown Toronto

Yesterday my vocal class and a few other music peeps went to the University of Toronto Faculty of Music and went on a tour. I wanted to get lunch so one of the guides wrote directions for me. Everyone else went to Tim's or Mcdonald's but I wanted Subway and I was going to brave the streets of Toronto myself to get it. I went down to the subway station and crossed, went down Charles street, turned on Bay and BOOM: a Subway in all its glory.
I wrote out my order ahead of time and ordered my sub while maintaining a conversation with the guy making it. He forgot to toast my sub, but it still tasted AMAZING!!! With my drink and sub in hand, I walked back to the Faculty of Music with my 12-inch sub like a sword ready for bloodshed and returned unharmed.

10/10 social interaction.

100% mission success.

Favorite book

 One of my favourite books is All The Bright Places by Jennifer Niven. There is a scene I always go back to. Flinch and his younger sister Decca are in her room and they are cutting out words from books around the house. All the bad, unpleasant words are taken out with scissors and the novels are left with gaps and pleasant and happy words inside. Words like morning, lovely, lighten. This is something I wish I could do. Take a book and cut out all the evil and unpleasant words and leave the good ones. But I can't do this. It's not so much a physical limitation, but a mental one. I love books very much and cutting one apart, possibly ruining one forever with these actions, is something I can't quite get a handle on just yet. But I love the idea of it all.